In Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depended on It Summary
3 Major Strategies Discussed in Never Split the Difference Summary
1. Influence Tactics
Chris Voss talks about the different types of influence tactics that you can use to get your way in a negotiation. The most common type of influence tactic is the one where an individual tries to use their position of authority as a way of getting what they want. For example, if you are negotiating with your boss and he wants something from you, he may try to use his position as a reason why you should do it. However, this can be easily countered by simply saying, “I am happy to do it, but I will need some time to get it done.”
Another common type of influence tactic is when an individual uses emotions or personal stories in order to get what they want. This is usually done by telling stories about how hard they worked or how much they sacrificed to get where they are today. This is also easily countered by just saying that “I appreciate your story, but I still need more information before making this decision.”
2. Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify, assess and control one’s own emotions as well as recognize them in others. It suggests that people are intelligent in their emotional processes since it is linked to how we think about ourselves and others. The two main components of emotional intelligence are self-awareness and self-management.
Self-Awareness: Self-awareness is the ability to understand our own emotions and know how they affect us. This can help us better understand when we are making decisions based on those emotions rather than logic or reason.
Self-Management: Self-management is the ability to control one’s own emotions, so they don’t get in the way of performing well at work or interacting with others positively.
3. Push Yourself in Your Opponent’s Shoes
If you really want to understand how your opponent thinks, try to imagine how he would react if you were doing what he was doing.
For example, suppose that you are negotiating with a lawyer from New York City. The lawyer is pushing hard for a deal, and she doesn’t seem to care about anything other than her client’s interests. You might be tempted to think that she is stubborn or selfish. But what if you imagined yourself in her shoes? What if you thought about how she would feel if she were negotiating with someone who was trying to take advantage of her client? Would she stand up for herself? Would she demand respect? Or would she back down?
If you can imagine yourself in your opponent’s shoes, then it becomes much easier to identify his motivations and concerns. This will help you find common ground and build rapport with him or her.
Life is about selling everyone. You sell your significant other on why you do what you do, or maybe on why your kids should do their homework. So it’s a good skill to get good at.
Chris Voss’s Never Split This Difference is an excellent book on negotiating that any business person should read. You can also check out our full list of the best business startup books here.